The Draft

In the past some fans have asked how the band avoided being drafted during the Vietnam conflict

Dennis

Dennis was awarded a 4F after his physical because of his slow heartbeat, so he managed to escape the draft quite easily.

Alice

"Me, Alice" says that Alice wasn't even worried because "I only weighed ninety-eight pounds and I had bleached blond hair. How could they possibly want to draft me?" Well, guess what? After Alice's physical, he was classified 1A! Alice says he went for four more physicals and even drank a bottle of whiskey before each physical and passed out, but to no avail. He was still classified 1A. He petitioned the psychiatrist for two months and finally got to meet with him. He told the psychiatrist that he was an entertainer and this is what he hoped to accomplish:

"I told him I wanted to put an audience in a concert hall, bolt and lock the doors, shut the lights and shock hem with electricity, lower spiders on them, surround the audience with speakers blasting my voice and plant accomplices in the audience to have heart attacks and fits. Then, when everything was the most intense, you let monkey semen out of the ventilation system. I told him that I had read somewhere that the smell of monkey semen makes people horny. Then you blind everyone with the flash of quartz lamps. At that point you suggest an action. For instance, "fuck" or "dance". Mass hypnotism. My eyes were wide and I had really gotten myself off on the fantasy."

Alice then goes on to say that "the letter the psychiatrist wrote said I was a homicidal transvestite capable of mass murder. A megalomaniac. He sent it to the draft board with a Mr. Buckley (Cortez high school principal). I have a copy framed, hanging in the bathroom of my house". Great story eh? Other than the monkey semen, I'd say Alice pretty much has lived out his fantasy.

Michael

Michael Bruce fought the draft in court (and won obviously).

Neal

Neal got classified 4F after Alice shot him in the foot, deliberately to help Neal fail his physical.

"The same night we got the information from the Ouija board, Neal and I drove out to the desert in a borrowed car. There were two .22-caliber rifles in the trunk, and we were going to shoot jackrabbits. We would drive around the desert, blind them with the car headlights, and pick them off.
Neal took a shot at one from the hood of the car, thought he had hit it and swung his long legs around just as I pulled off my own shot. There was a thumping sound, and he fell on the ground. He scrambled around in front of the headlights and pulled off his boots. I had shot him in the ankle.
He was deliriously happy. We went straight to a hospital where they examined him, and he filled out all sorts of reports for the doctors and police and told everyone that he had shot himself in the foot. The police told him, "The next time you shoot yourself, shoot yourself in the fucking head." He was classified 4F and didn't even complain much about the cast he had to wear for two months. The bullet is lodged in his right anklebone, and, contrary to rumor, it never improved his playing."
(Me Alice)

Glen

Glen avoided the drift through health reasons:

..I think Glen had one of the really legit reasons for not being taken - he had horrible allergies to dust,
grasses, pollens, etc. And let us not forget... feathers! He couldn't use a feather pillow - EVER!
Janice Davison (Glen`s sister) August 2003)